� � 宮無� �科 ��。よ����願����。
listening to: Suikoden II OST Disc 3 - Freedom Again
wishes for: Princess Tutu OST

...if you don't understand that, do this: go to View > Encoding > Unicode (UTF-8) and then you can see it clearly mya. ^^

if you still can't understand, it's okay. it's supposed to say 'Watashi wa Miyamuri Rika desu. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.' in kanji. Oh Nuffink. I was just playing around with the japIME.. which apparenly won't work in shift-jis, euc or auto. Oh well. ^^;

Anyway, got sick during the weekend. TT^TT Missed Genpsyc. I was absent for three days... and no one missed me.. *sobs* Well, there *was* a few... and their numbers only reach one hand.. Poor, poor me.. *sobs*

Today, Ellen pinched me on the cheeks. O__o just for wearing my special dress. OwO And everyone stared at me and loved meh. And my special dress. Which I designed. ^^ Teehee!

Mitch!! I'll send you the pictures once Ross sends them to me!! I promise!! :D I love you!! :D We should do that again some time.. I'll make more clotehs!!!!!! *squeals*

Today, i also learned that my memory suxxors. And I rule Guilty Gear when I play Ky Kiske. *evil laugh* Testament is smexy. *tackels him* mine, thank you.

Creole and I are being download whores. Soulseek, bittorrent and normal downloads for me... Heee.. Loving the downloads.. :3 Losing the disk space.. O___O Oh well. ^^;;;

Monday I'm getting a bunch of cd's frome Hades... Lots of Momosu PVs.. including W!!! Whee!!! :D Immagonnaget Kang a copy, nya! :D She'll love it!

Aaahh.. the Gravitation fandom is getting back.. *w* Yuki and Shuichi smexing.. can't wait!! *squeee* *melts*

My Saturday mornings are meant to be slept
listening to: Keyboard tappin' and people chattin' at g302
wishes for: sleep, demmet

I'm awake. I was woken up at 6.30 effin am just to attend a lecture/seminar for my Database class. >.< I want to sleep, demmet. And to top it all off, I didn't get breakfast at McDonald's!!! Agh!! >.
I need sleep. I have cookies in my bag. I have a lot of stuff to do today. I have to finish the scripts, I have to make another CCS Amazing Race logo , some CAR posters, the SCRIPTS!!! The scripts for the faculty variety show!! AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! *sobs*

Ooh, cool. We're doing some interesting webstuff.. I have to learn Java.. Mmm.. Fun. I want chocoichigo.net to be mine soon.. >3 And then I shall spread TripleH chocolate bars.. >D And Strawberry pocky!! Muhahahaha!!! Okay, so that didn't have anything to do with what we're doing..

We're actually making online databases, and our Prof is teaching us how to do them with Java and JavaScript... Take note that there IS a difference between the two. It's really cool. I just hope I can catch up.. Hehe. I need the knowledge of making online databases for chocoichigo.net I love that domain name.. chocoichigo nya~~ x3

I'm still sleepy. And I still want breakfast at McDonald's, but i don't think I can get one since the lecture/seminar ends at 12. >.< Damn my luck. And the lab's getting really really cold.. Add to that fact that I got the sniffles, and the shower didn't have any hot water.. *schniffle* I dun wanna be sick.. *schnifflecough* @___@ Too late.. @___@ Now how am I gonnado all that work that needs to be finiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiished??? *schnifflesobcough* @__X

I really want to go to sleep... -_______-;;;

PS: You found me! Omigosh! How long did it take? *cackles*

Froot Loops. It's like molesting Aki.. Only, Hideki's doing the molesting. Yum <3
listening to: those guys playing guilty gear on someone's laptop.
wishes for: them to get the fuck out of OUR territory *deathglares*

I am obsessed over Froot Loops. Don't ask why. I just am. I kept eating Froot Loops yesterday. O__o

Watched Bourne Supremacy with Khan last Friday. It was fun. Not as fun as the first, but still, it was fun. We met Arce at Powerbooks after the movie. I forgot to remind her about my sister's shirt. >.> Oh well.

Last Saturday, I got my dress made. Conflict over the cloths to use, though. I hope they choose the right ones. I haven't checked back on them yet. O__o I really hope they got the right cloths. I'm going to use that dress on the 29th 'cause me and Mitch and another friend of hers are gonna go Halloween Trippin' in Gox. Fashion Show!! Whee! I'm gonna get to wear make up.. *shudder* I'm not good at applying it, so I might ask Mitch or someone else to put it on me.. Mmmm.. About my hair.. it's eiher i put it in braids or wear a headband.. The usual ponytail wont work in this case. The dress is too pretty for my hair to be worn in a ponytail.

Oooh, i was also at Intramuros last Saturday! I didn't really wantto go, but I went.. And i bought really pretty earrings there!! So I'm glad I went ^^

Also! About last saturday! It was the longest time I've been online!! 13 hours 59 minutes and 58 seconds!! xD 14 straight hours just downloading episoded 1-26 of Daa! Daa! Daa! xD And now, I've watched up to episode 8 since I watch it afer doing homework and shit.. Hehe. I wanna go home early today so i can watch 9 onwards.

Last sunday was boring as usual.

Monday! Monday I got to play ParaPara Paradise with Ross! I can dance Speedway in Freestyle Hard Mode!! Yay!!! Ohh! i saw sir Geom in SM Manila~! When I was playing ParaPara Paradise, too!! O___O!!!! Whooaaa... Also.. anywhere you go.. CD-R King is ALWAYS slow. >.<

Hehe. Hmmmm.. Today, I was supposed to be going to Creole's place just to hang out.. but it turns out that she cancelled it.. >.> Boooo..

Tomorrow, I have to fix the Courseware proposal Danes and I have to pass.. @__@ We have to give it by Tuesday.. Hopefully we'd have a fine tooth comb run through it by tomorrow or Friday. You think STC would want to test the software? O__o

Oniichan made a Smiler League TCG and we're playing a test game in YM.. It's really confusing, but he says I've got the hang of it already. Or something to that effect.. It's confuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusing!!!!!!!!!! @___@ Maybe that's why I don't play much TCGs... >.>

I'm at Gox. And I have to do one last homework I forgot to do yesterday.. I have to put in me notebook this dream I had.. Our prof is actually getting more and more fun these days.. Hehehe..

Anyway, I've ranted long enough.. I'm gonna get those arses out of our territory right now.. They're too effin' noisy. Damn bastards. *glare*

Toodles~!

your silence...
listening to: Shimokawa Mikuni - Alone
wishes for: something that would tell me that you still think about me.

...makes me realize how much i really do care for you. It's been two months since we last spoke to each other. Exactly two months today. Maybe it *was* a passing crush. Maybe. But I still do think of you. I still do feel something for you. I still care for you. I do. Maybe it wasn't as big of a deal than it was before, but i still do. I do care about you. I really do. And I still think about you. Everyday. Not one day passes that I don't think of you. I miss you. I really do. You know, I've always believed that you *would* be able to take me away from here and let me stay with you. There were times that I doubted that, but I still kept hoping. Amd I once believed that you would be able to keep me with you. But I guess you're right. About being two people living on either sides of the world. And maybe that's why we can't exactly be. I love you. Or I did. Maybe I still do. And maybe it would never happen. But I can't stop dreaming, right?

...I wish I'd be able to talk with you again. Even for just a minute, just to say 'Hi', just to ask you how you're doing.

I miss you.

Oooooh....
still watching Moonchild
wishes for: still Hideki x Aki numminess

This is fun. Los of fun generators for randomness. It even has a character generator! Coolies!

random stuffage from seventh sanctum:

Magical Knight Generator:
This lazy magic knight has slanted gray eyes and waist-length, curly, silky, red hair worn in an exotic style. He has a masculine build. He has holy powers that are activated by concentration. His semi-transparent outfit is mostly blue.

Bishotron:
This man's amethyst eyes are those of a prowling panther. He has shoulder-length, straight, ash gray hair that is styled in a way reminicent of a wave of water. His physique is very elegant.

Fwee... That was fun. ^^ Now I'm off to continue coloring Hideki in.. ^^

When termites attack...
listening to: watching: Moonchild
wishes for: HidekixAki numminess <3

...the ceiling on my roof gets to be the victim. >.> I now have no sanctuary. All hell shall break loose. I'll be leeping in my grandparent's room for the meantime. That means early wake up hours. Early sleeping time. No reading manga before bed. Someone save me. Please.

They're fixing my ceiling right now, and I don't know how long it would take them. I need my sanctuary back. ;__; I don't know how long I'll last if I don't have it.. ;___; *sobs*

The copy of Moonchild i have, however, is non-subbed. Thank god i have a good knowledge on the language so i at least understand what's going on.. I hope. *is still watching* Hyde and Gackt are so adorable together.. *squee* If anyone knows where to get a subbed Moonchild copy, please tell me. I don't think I'd like to watch it with a lot of squealing fangurls behind me on Friday.. NKK's having a mini-Japanese Movie fest showing a bunch of japanese animations and films starting 8 am and will go on up to 7 in the evening. They're showing Moonchild at 2 in the afternoon. I have no class at that time, but I'm sure there would be a lot of squealing fangurls skipping class just to watch it. And i don't like squealing fangurls behind my back. It'll ruin my watching mood.

Hmmm.. what else.. Oh. Went to school today. I said went. It doesn't necessarily means that I attended classes, right? *wink*

#@*^$&*@#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
listening to: Saeko Chiba - Sayonara Solitaire
wishes for: inspiration

...Crap. Just plain crap. I've lost all my will to work on ANYTHING. I'm supposed to be doing INTRODB work, but fuckin' hell, i've lost all my will to write. >.< And make that ER Diagram we're supposed to make. What the fuck is happening to me?!?! *frustratedarghsheeyut*

Bah. I don't want to write anything anymore. >.>

Hanging Out
lsitening to: Shin Hakkenden - Memories
wishes for: the old days

Last night, there was an earthquake. I thought it was a dream. O__o Oh-kaaay.. Strange ne? Mm.

Today, woke up late. Ate five pieces of suman. Went to SM to ParaPara with Kang and Khan and Jem. Creole was supposed to come with us since she was supposed to go to school. Um.. that's about it. ParaPara'd from three to five-ish. Then we all ate beef bowls at Yoshinoya. x3 Aaaaaaaaaah.. How I miss ParaPara Dancing. >3 It was fun. Got to do Easy Busy only once though.. Mikado twice. Got the hang of it already. Muhahaha. Kang and I want the ParaPara machine all to ourselves. We plan to buy it. Some day. >D

Aaaaaaaaanyway, Kang ends up sleeping over with me tonight.

And remember kids, 10 x 0 is ALWAYS equal to 0. *inside joke* Muahaha.

Feel sorta better now. Love you Kang. Love you Creole. Love you Ross. Thanks Aliah. Hi Mike.

Hmmmm.. Might write another serious post tomorrow. Anyways, 'till the next update~

Toodles~ <3

No, Seriously...
listening to: Story of the Year - Anthem of Our Dying Day
wishes for: sweet, sweet melancholy

Things happen. And when they happen, we usually can't do anything about it. It's already happened, it's already done and there's nothing we can do about it. What we can only do and hope for is that we make the right choices, the right decisions to make the future a little more desirable than what we're experiencing now. That's what Fate and Destiny is all about. Whatever decisions we make, what actions we do, whatever we think about, it all leads us to one destination. We'll always find ourselves facing our destiny. We are being guided, being shown choices, but our decisions, our choices is what makes our destiny.

So why am I blabbering about these things? At first, it was for nothing. For no reason at all. Except maybe some hints at DesCha. But when I realized it, I wanted to write about something else. Something I haven't written about yet. Something that I haven't talked to anyone about yet. Or maybe I *have* talked to someone about it, I just forgot.. Or that person never really thought much or did much about it.

What I am going to write next, I just want to be read. I don't want to wake up the next morning with my inbox/flooble/comment box full of pity and being sorry for me. No, I don't need those. I just need to get this thing out. See, if I keep it in, the pressure of it will build up, and if it stays in and never gets out, then BOOM! One day, I'll just snap and people'll probably find me behind bars or in the loony bin. Who knows. All I ask is for you to read. Don't do anyting, because you can't do anything anymore. Don't say anything because I already know what you'll be saying. I don't need that. I don't need anything right now except for people to read this. And get this out.

You see, this all started even before I was born. Some people might already know the reasons of my birth. Some might just shrug it off thinking I wask kidding, or just won't believe me. I was born just a month after my parents' wedding day. My mother was 19 years old when she had me. And she was eight months pregnant when they married. I guess it was a fad then, or maybe up to now. Premarital sex leading to a somewhat unwanted marriage just to make sure that none of the parties concerned feel guilty. And then, I was just there. And maybe it was my fault. And maybe it wasn't. But it was THEIR choice. It was my parents' choice. And who am I to complain? I *am* just a byproduct of two sex cells meeting. Nothing more. And so, I grew up. But I wasn't raised by my parents. They were too busy "studying" for college. My dad was in his last year taking his pre-med and my mom was finishing up her Jouralism course. My mom passed, no big. My dad never continued to study medicine though. Don't know why. WIll probably never know why. Wouldn't care. It's his decision. The point is, they didn't raise me. Technically, they just brought me to the waking world and left me to my grandparents. I don't think they have any right to be called "mom" and "dad" by me. I don't think they even deserve to be called "parents". But that's how the world goes. It's better to have something called "parents" than none at all. It's how society deictates it. It's a standard that everyone has to have or else you're not part of the circle. Frankly, I dont' care anymore. Anyway, getting to the point. I used to be nice. yeah. I used to care a lot about them, because I didn't know. Maybe if i still didn't know, I'd still care. But I grew up. I grew up, brought up by good people, had a seemingly normal life. By the time I reached elementary, I knew something wasn't right about my family. I was a loner when I was in grade school if I wasn't clinging on to Carla or to Jaya. They were the first ever friends I had. We used to hang out a lot. Until third grade, where we kinda got split up. That was when we rarely got to ever see each other. And that was also around the time i first got to know the word "dysfunctional". It's an adjective. The adjective that describes my family. So nothing is perfect. Nothing ever was. Three or four years later, I had no God anymore. Because all I did when i discovered that word was "pray". Just like my Grandmother told me. Because "people up there" will hear it and will make things better. But it never did. And I just didn't believe anymore. I only believed in what I can do, in what people can do. And usually, people hurt you. I met new people, made friends, some of them still are, and those who still are remain very dear to me. And I guess, I consider them more my family than what binds me by my blood. Family never necessarily meant being bound by blood to each other. You just have to understand each other. And that's what we have. We understand each other, behind all that fighting, all that misunderstanding. Because me and my friends actually find a way around whatever problem we have. Sometimes, we do isolate ourselves, but in the end, we find that we're together again. I never had that in the family I'm blood-bound to. THe problems just keep appearing, and if any one of us try to at least solve it, something goes wrong. And it's usually because of my mother or my father. More often it's because of my mother. And no, I don't want any part of it anymore. And i think my parents know that. I ran away once or twice. Because I never liked how my mom treated me. So I'm a rebel. Who isn't? That probably is my fault, but it's my decision as well. And so far, I've been good. And frankly, I'm glad I made that decision. I know it's going to hurt me at some point, but I don't care. I'll live through it. I know I'm strong enough. And so, right now, the only person most affected by all this is my youngest sister. She's the only person left living with my parents. She's the only person left who's putting up with their bickering, their fighting, their late night arguements. And I'm sure that it's hurt her emotionally, psychologically. And I've always wanted to take her away from all that. But she doesn't want to be taken away. I don't know why. Never asked why. It's her choice. I have to respect that. But I hate what my parents are doing to her. Lately, I've been noticing that my dad's been acting secretively. Having phone calls with whispered voices, going to "work" late at night and coming home two days later. That made my mom snap. And it's been like that for the past years already. No, I'm not caring because they're my parents. I don't care about them, about what they do. I don't want anything to do with them. I'm caring about my sister, who I'm afraid will not grow up right. In fact, she's already showing signs. What signs? She's bloody carving numbers on her bloody hand with a bloody knife. She's bloody going out with someone twice her bloody age. Gods, i won't be surprised if she gets pregnant during her college life. The point is, I don't think I can help her anymore. And everything is up to her. Up to them. Up to whatever choice they make.

And there I ranted without thought. And there I rabled on without coherence. And there I declare that I do not give a damn anymore.

Works in Progress
listening to: Miyavi - Happy End no Uta
wishes for: money to buy me an SD13 Boy

1. If Only - Suikoden Fanfic 98% done
2. War of Emperium Ch2 - Ragnarok Online fic - 10% done
3. Red Moon Murders Ch1 - 0% done And I said I'd make the scripts.. >.>
4. GoxLayp Skit 1 - 10% done I have no humor -__-;
5. TsumexToboe pic - 25% done
6. Aki's dA Kiriban - 0% done Evil procrastinator
7. Procrastination - 0% done I'll do it tomorrow. I swear.

And that, my dear ladies and gentlemen, proves that chickens indeed have taken over my brain and intended to rule the world. That or college just hates my guts and isn't giving me any inspiration for all that. >.<

Crap it all.

And to top it all off, the Miyavi songs I downloaded were kinda disappointing.. >.> And Mini Moni attempted to brainwash me with their songs, too. >.> Thank god for J-rock.

Ooooh!! Downloaded a copy of Moonchild yesterday. Took me almost the whole effin' day to do that. Dunno why. I'm supposed to be having this fast connection called DSL. Of course, I know there are better connections out there, but why the effin hell was my download effin' slow? >.< Haven't watched it yet, though. Want to, but haven't.

Read this really cute shounen ai story yesterday called Spontaneity. Edan is just sooo adorable *goes off to make fanart*

Got to talk with Seme-sama again ^^ HerHis insane laptop's sparklie and has good stuffus now. ^^ She He's happy ^^ And he loves to molest.

I miss her. Haven't talked to her in ages. *sobs* ...Or maybe it *was* just a passing obsession. But why do I still think of her? Am I only making believe that I like someone else because I do miss her and my subconscious just wants to kick my ass and make me realize that i really reall really miss her? That was as confusing as hell, but who cares.

Before I depart, a quote from Spontaneity:

"...chickens are far more intelligent than they let on to be and I have discovered that they are hell bent on taking over the world." -Prince(ss) Edan(a), Prince(ss) of Niall

Eh? ... O__O!!!
listening to: Sister Princess - Love Destiny
wishes for: SD13 LE Chris ver2

Love Destiny is an extremely cute song. ^^ I like listening to it. And because I like listening to it, I kinda sing along sometimes. And because I feel nice today (Wolfram x Yuuri..!!! Yesssssss!!!) here are the cute lyrics of the cute cute cute song~

Love Destiny
Yui Horie
Sister Princess Op

Aitai ai ai ai ai no ni
aenai ai ai ai kon'ya wa
Mado wo utsu ame yori
Hageshii arashi ni yureteru
aenai ai ai ai ai kara
motto ai ai ai tsunoru yo
moe tsukite mo ii kore ga saigo no shinjitsu

hajimete no deai wa heibon datta kedo
au tabini kakko no dare yori mo kikareteku

konna kimochi no wake umaku ienai kedo
unmei no koi to hito wa yobu no deshou
hitomi tojitara futari ni nareru
ima tatoe kono heya hitori demo
It's my only destiny

Aitai ai ai ai ai no ni
aenai ai ai ai kon'ya wa
katteni afureteku dekijou wo tomerarenai

dakara ai ai ai aitai
dakedo ai ai ai aenai
mou modore wa shinai
kore ga saigo no shinjitsu

dareka wo omou toki kurushiku naru nante ne
kore made no jibun ga tsugi tsugi ni kuzureteku
poozu to wa urahara makikomarete yuku kanji
mienai chikara de kikiyoserarete yuku
hitomi sorasazu futari ni nareta
ano yoru no kodou wasurenai It's my last destiny

Aitai ai ai ai ai no ni
aenai ai ai ai kon'ya wa
Mado wo utsu ame yori
Hageshii arashi ni yureteru
aenai ai ai ai ai kara
motto ai ai ai tsunoru yo
moe tsukite mo ii kore ga saigo no shinjitsu

nee fushigi kare wo omotte nakeru yoru ga arutte
maru de Love Song

dakara ai ai ai aitai
dakedo ai ai ai aenai
mou modore wa shinai
kore ga saigo no shinjitsu

I just love that song.. ^^

Speaking of songs, I heard this freakishly freakish song while eating dinner tonight. ABS-CBN dubs Ragnarok the Animation, right? Guess what? They made this sucky freaky ugly godforsaken Tagalog version of We are the Stars, RtA's opening theme. O__O FUCK YOU ABS-CBN! THANK YOU FOR MAKING MORE CRAP THAT WE DON'T NEED!

And they have no right to sue me. Everything in here is of my own opinion and no one can make me change that. *deathglares at ABS-CBN*

Moving on... Played StarCraft today like hell. Didn't eat lunch because of that. O__o Must practice more. Zergs rule. Terrans suck eggs. Protoss are cool. I really, *really* need to practice again. I am SO gonna kick Antet's ass when I play against him again. >D

I still want a SuperDollfie 13. Preferrably the LE Chris ver2. Or an FCS that would look like Chris ^^ I can't wait until I have an SD13~ <3 I would die happy when I do get one. ^^

Another thing I'd like to talk about tonight would be the Mini Moni movie, The Great Cake Adventure. Mini Moni is actually a subgroup of Morning Musume, and they make silly genki songs, too. Ai Takahashi is cute. O__O Actually, they're all cute. ^^; I like Mari Yaguchi bestest, tho.. But enought about that. More on the movie.

It's deathly cute. OwO See? I even did the demented panda smile. ^^; The movie is just soooo adorable! Their 3D characters were just sooo cute! And the songs were uberly genki!!! OwO I like it!! ^^ Everyone should watch it!

Er.. anyways, that's it for me now. ^^;; I'll be reinstalling StarCraft in a while so I can play it ^^

Toodles~ <3