...truth...

Er, after that sort-of angsty episode... I kinda got the time to think and stuff... when I'm supposed to be studying for INTRODS...

I think... i think i just wanted to feel that warm fuzzy feeling most people around me has.. I mean, Jessie has one... She's been ranting about it since forever... And I prolly got jealous or something... And with all the cutesy wootsey thingies that happen, with all the teasing around... I kinda thought that i needed something warm and fuzzy, too...

That's just probably it... Or maybe i'm just truly delusional... I mean, I have a twisted imagination, a twisted reality and a twisted fantasy... so what's there for me to hang on to? sanity? i dont think so..

...So i've decided to give the whole darned thing up... this delusion that i like someone... i'm gonna give the whole damn thing up, kick myself and get on with my life. Which, by the way, has no direction, has nothing to bear and is entirely based on something fictional.

...

I dunno. Maybe i'm just afraid that if he ever finds out we won't be able to get to hang out together like we usually do... Or maybe it's because i'm too scared to even think of what people think of me.. Of who they see me as..

Especially if that someone is that person who you really really like...

maybe i should give up on life itself, so i wont be bothered of these kinds of thoughts anymore..?

Maybe.